you are your problem 1

Once upon a time, a beautiful bird was soaring high in the skies. It was free and happy. One day, it fell into a broad, deep dry well. Fortunately, it was unhurt. Once at the bottom of the well, the bird did not try to help itself out of his trouble. It just sat down and expected the public to rescue it out of the well

When people did not come to its rescue, it began wailing and lamenting about its bad luck. It kept saying to itself: “Poor me! What wrong did I do that I deserved this lot? Down in this well here, I am sure to die!”

Next, it started blaming others for its misfortune: It muttered: “It’s not my fault that I lay here and suffer at the bottom of this well. It is the fault of those who dug it. It is the fault of those who did not ‘cover its mouth. It is the unconcern of the passersby for not rescuing me from the well. No! No! It’s not my fault.”

And with that, it kept shouting:’ “Help! Help! Heeellppp! Pleeease! Get me out of here!” People outside the well kept telling the bird: “You got wings, you can fly; the well is broad, fly, and help yourself out of the well”

Bewailing the bird cried out: “I can’t help myself! If I fly, I’ll hurt my wings. I’ll surely dash against the walls of the well. It will pain. No! No! You got to rescue me out of here. It’s not my fault that I am trapped down here”

People outside kept telling the bird: “Come on! Make an effort! Your wings are O.K. You are unhurt. Try to fly! Surely you can help yourself!”

But, the bird refused to try. It would not make any effort to help itself. It just kept on lamenting his bad luck and blaming others for it. He bemoaned: “Poor me!” No one cares! No one wants to help me! People are really cruel and heartless. Can’t they see how much I suffer?”

With all this talk the bird attracted so much attention and cheap pity from the onlookers that without realizing it, it began enjoying the sympathy of being trapped at the bottom of the well!

At last, slowly, its wings withered away. In the end, it could not fly anymore. Truly, now, it could not help itself, neither could others help it to fly again. So, the bird pitied by all and pitying itself lived a miserable existence at the bottom of the well.

We are not better than that bird, we do the same thing it did every day of our lives. The human mind is inquisitive enough to seek a reason for every event, there is a constant hunger for justification. Even in children, that is why a child will fall and say it is the table or the floor that caused the fall. This mindset from an early age has been reinforced by parents and guardians petting a child by giving him someone or something to blame.

The blame culture has been ingrained in our modus operandi as individuals, families, societies, and even nations. No one has been thought by society to take responsibility for his/her failure. The corruption in nations has been blamed on the political system and the past leaders. Youths have always pointed fingers at the leaders and the older population and them in return blame the youths too for not doing enough. The society has just found a way to always pass the baton of blame.

It is evident that there is a problem, and the easy pass is to blame someone. In all honesty, there is enough justification to point fingers and implicate someone for the problem. But does that take away the problem? Or I should rather ask; has that taken away the problems?

As much as man can’t exist in isolation, it is also very pertinent to bear in mind that life is a personal course. Because life uses people and situation to facilitate the challenges that we face does not mean we should blame them for the problems. The aim of those challenges is for us to develop the ability to think constructively and devise a means to surmount them; not to wallow or play the blame game.

Everything you do is based on the choices you make. It is not your parents, your past relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument, or your age that is to blame, You and only you are responsible for every decision and choice you make.

It has been widely said that life is a sum of our choices and decisions. If we truly take time to consider that statement, we will understand that no one deserves to be blamed but ourselves. You are your problem, not any other person. You can counter me with a case of a child not being able to choose his parents and environment of upbringing, but that is common to all men. Life is a marathon, not a sprint; we start the journey at different points but we all are exposed to the same course. Some start on the rosy course, while others begin on the rough edge.

The point is, everyone will have a fair share of opportunity to taste good and the bad. Life is decided by the choices we choose to make, and that of today will surely affect tomorrow. All is in your hands to make your life better…….to be continued.

watch for more on the next post

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