Depending on the generation or time of birth, there are several lines that have been used to express love and the emotions that comes with it. The baby boomers from around this side of the world will be familiar with ‘the only cockroach in my cupboard’ or ‘the only sugar in my tea’. One very common expression that I have observed to be used across races and ages is ‘butterflies in my belly’.
You hear musicians include it in their lyrics, you hear it in movies and even in day to day encounters; through all of it, it is certain you perceive love is the subject.
The feeling expressed as butterflies in the belly is a fluttery sensation basically caused by a reduction of blood flow to the stomach. An awesome feeling when someone you care about looks at you, stares at you or complements you is butterflies in the belly. But are we going to keep feeling like that? When a relationship starts, there is always so much enthusiasm and romance; we don’t seem to notice any wrong in the other person. This is the time you just want to be together; in such times, you can say goodbye countless times, you converse for endless hours. But does it remain like that forever?
There are butterflies, plenty of them in your tummy now, what happens when they leave? How will that relationship survive when you begin to notice he does not keep his wardrobe as tidy as you would have loved?
How do you deal with his stinking shoes and socks, or his scattered dishes?
How will you handle her times of switching off, or how do you really know if she’s saying yes or no or none?
How do you react when she’s crying for the reason she doesn’t even know herself?
How will you decide when to hold her or just let her be, when to fight for her or let her do the fighting? As much as its sweet with romance, so it can be frustrating in relationships when the differences begin to emerge.
1. Expect and Decide to accept his/her differences: it’s selfishness not love that makes you want to change your partner; if it’s that easy, why don’t you rather change to suit the other person. We must all realize that the world is beautiful because of the variability and so it must be in a relationship. Loving your partner is in acceptance of their differences and flaws. See their difference as a complement, always bear in mind there is no perfect person on earth.
2. Forgive in advance: you won’t be sincere with yourself to say you don’t get offended, probably you have not met someone offensive. To deal with the escape of tummy butterflies, you have to have an inexhaustible forgiveness account. Don’t get it wrong, I didn’t say expect to be wronged, but forgive even before the offence, that way you don’t get to notice the offence.
3. Communicate: I don’t know how to stress this than to say COMMUNICATE. The most common form is to talk, talk about everything every time. Make it romantic, send text messages, do video calls, send voice notes, send mails. But don’t forget communication is more of connection.
4. Two statements, both three words and eight letters do the magic: ‘I Love You’ and ‘I Am Sorry’. Take this as the key, be sincere when you say those words.
Believe me, there is no straight road to relationship success; but some tips are invaluable. There are lot more needed than the fluttery feeling of some insects in your stomach. You mostly need the ability to SACRIFICE, that’s the true definition of love. I know you love me, I love you too. Enjoy your day.