Growing up as a kid, I was constantly chastised for not doing things the way my parents, my teachers and several older folks expected. Everyone comes with an expectation of how I should do a thing. I’m not contesting with the fact that there are some basics expected of me like respect, obedience, loyalty, morals and manners; but not having to expect me to like your style of music or your field of study.
I have come to realize that many times, no man can really help being like this, it’s quite innate of the normal man to want everyone around him behaving like him. I have noticed that as a person in a new place, the first set of people you will naturally get close to are people like yourself. You just unconsciously look out for someone like you, but if perhaps someone not really like you gets in the fold; makes it a bitter closer than others, then you begin to see the differences and the conflict begins.
Relationships have been meted with several flaws basically because all is selfish, we all come with a sense of ownership. We are seek to see others reason like ourselves and react like we would have done. Many times I have judged people because I was only seeing from my angle, I have forgotten that life is about perspective. It simply because I was selfish, just like any other person out there. We are in a culture quick to judge, we sight the speck of wood in others eye while the log is in ours.
I think maybe it’s because the log is in our eyes that is why we could easily see the speck of wood in others, we have these flaws and are pros in it and expect better from others. It is a ‘SELFISH ALL’ generation. Humanity was endowed with a tool of difference to manifest beauty and diversity, but we have turned that to a basis of conflict because we are selfish.
The basis for misunderstanding is unmet expectations, you have a sequence of events played out in your mind already and a fail in it causes a fault. If I get back home from a stressful workday and my roommate who was off work failed to cook; imagine my anger. I was disappointed because I am sure I won’t do that, the basis is still about me. But I wouldn’t care how his own day was played out, I was stressed and my expectation was at least to meet a meal. What if he wasn’t feeling to well all day, what if he received a bad news from home? How many times have you reasoned out excuse for the other party? How many times have you given others a long rope considering your own past and how far you have changed? Are you not more selfish than you know or imagined?